When parents are faced with a diagnosis of ADHD (Attention Deficit and / or Hyperactivity Disorder) in their child, there are many doubts that are raised about how to act and educate the little one from now on. Sometimes they even feel guilty about 'having been acting bad' with their child. This negative feeling is increased when parents of children with ADHD they hear some hurtful comments and phrases, usually made from ignorance.
There is no manual on how to parent a child with ADHD. Each child is unique within the disorderAnd what works with one little one does not always work with another. For this reason, it is essential that parents receive good advice and support from professionals specialized in this type of disorder. If parenting is not an easy task, when faced with the disorder this task can become more difficult.
It is not uncommon for the people around us give us advice and opinions on how to educate and raise our children, but they are not always going to be accurate comments. And, in fact, these can do a lot of harm to parents.
Therefore, in Guiainfantil.com we've made a list of some of the most unfortunate phrases you can say to a parent of a child with this disorder. This will make it easier for you next time to put yourself in her shoes and understand how she feels when she hears her.
1. Your child needs more discipline
In the top ten of the opinions about the parents of these children is the phrase: 'Your child needs more discipline' or 'has no limits'. And no, ADHD is not a problem of standards. Unfortunately, not a few people still think that it is solved by putting more limits and rules at home.
This is the result of the profound ignorance that still exists today about this disorder. Parents often suffer from the behavior of their children, they try very hard to learn and control their behavior and impulses, so these types of phrases can do a lot of damage to a parent.
2. We don't invite (ADHD child) to birthday because he misbehaves
Sometimes the child with ADHD suffers the social consequences of his disorder. There are few times that a child is not invited to parties or birthdays due to their behavior, which affects their social and emotional development and their self-esteem, but also affects parents who see how their child is 'rejected' because of their characteristics . So phrases such as 'We do not invite your child to the birthday because he behaves badly' or 'because he beats others' or 'he does not know how to control himself' ... These are phrases that we must avoid and seek solutions to this problem.
3. That (child with ADHD) stay on the bench that is always clueless
Not only do they suffer this 'exclusion' from social events such as parties and birthdays, but it also occurs in the sports that the child practices. Sometimes, some parents who come to consult with their children to explain to us that the coach of soccer, basketball or any other sport that the child practices, does not take their child out to play the games because he gets lost in the game. Other reasons are that he reacts badly when they lose, that he is very impulsive, that he ignores the instructions ...
As a consequence, the children are sad or do not understand why they cannot play the games and are always on the bench. Once again, they are phrases that are the result of total ignorance on the part of the adults who surround and deal with the child.
4. You should give him the pill so that he is calmer
Other adults act as neurologists, psychologists and experts in this disorder and allow themselves to make a diagnosis and express their opinions on the matter. It is not difficult that when we communicate to others that our child has been diagnosed with ADHD, they tell us… 'You should also give the child the pill so that he is calmer' or 'The medication is a drug and you should not give it to him'.
We must never forget that the decision or not to medicate the child is under medical supervision, after a proper diagnosis, and accompanied by other psychological and psychopedagogical measures by professionals.
'So and so will not have friends as he continues to behave like this', 'You should try doing this', 'My son is also restless and does not behave like this' ... Phrases like these and the previous ones, far from helping parents with kids with ADHD, they hurt them. They can make them feel guilty for not doing what they should or are doing it wrong.
We all know a lot from being parents, but not for that we should judge others and less when it comes to parents with a child with some kind of disorder or difficulty.
But day by day we see that there is still a lot of ignorance about ADHD, which can lead us to express opinions or give quite unfortunate advice in this regard. And these comments not only hurt parents, but can deeply damage children's self-esteem and emotional development, since they are usually the ones who receive these criticisms.
You can read more articles similar to Phrases parents of children with ADHD don't want (or need) to hear, in the category of hyperactivity and attention deficit on site.