There is a lot of talk about the abuse of parents towards their children, but on less occasions, the issue is discussed when it occurs the other way around, when it is the children who physically or verbally attack the parents.
In these cases, the victim is usually the mother and generally does not occur because the family is unstructured, the parents are too authoritarian or have low purchasing power. So, What leads a child to attack and insult their parents?
We have all seen a child who, in the middle of a great tantrum, tried to pushing or hitting their parents, and even insulting them. They are delicate situations, in which many parents remain petrified or others react with violence, but, above all, they do not understand why their children have these aggressive reactions.
Apart from those cases in which the reason is biological and is associated with some disorder, statistics show that these children do not have very authoritarian parents, nor do they come from separate families or those with a low socioeconomic level.
The main problem is the lack of norms and limits in education. They are children who receive an overly permissive education in which they maintain a hierarchy of equals with their parents. They are tyrannical and bossy children, with a low tolerance for frustration, do not take no for an answer, are impulsive and show little attachment to others.
Studies reveal that children who develop aggressive behaviors at an early age have a tendency to continue this behavior when they are older, to stop it parents can:
- Establish rules and limits: leave the usual 'behave yourself' and explain what we expect of them and how they have to behave. It is not necessary to flood them with rules, but to establish some basic ones that they understand and respect.
- No reasons when it is in full explosion: the moment of the tantrum is not the most appropriate to dialogue. In those moments we will try not to hurt themselves, other children or us and we will wait until the tantrum has passed to make them understand why what they did is not right.
- Do not react with violence: If we yell, hit, or insult our children, they will imitate those violent behaviors. They will take abuse as something normal.
- Stimulate the bond: letting them know how much we love them, participate in their hobbies, talk with them, show them affection, in short, also promote emotional intelligence in our children and attachment is essential.
- Control your impulsiveness: We must be an example in that sense, we must also establish consequences so that they understand when they did not act well or we can even teach them to follow step-by-step instructions, making games or cooking recipes, so that they learn to self-control.
- Educate in empathyTeaching them to put themselves in the place of the other is essential for them to control that aggressiveness and persist in their hurtful attitude towards others.
You can read more articles similar to My son hits me when he gets angry, what should I do?, in the category of Conduct on site.