As parents, we make mistakes, but we also make many successes. Much is written about overprotection with childrenSome points of view are even different and sometimes we do not know whether or not to identify with this concept. Do you want to know if you exercise overprotection with children or, on the contrary, you are projecting on them? Answer the three questions that we ask you below because only you have the answer!
Some parents believe that their children are lazy or lazy, that they "have no blood" to carry out certain activities or tasks; and there will be occasions that it is thus, but there will be others that it is being judged by a projection of the father or mother.
Only you know how your child came into the world, if it was desired or not, if its gestation was complicated or easy, if the reason for bringing a child into the world was as a lifeline for the relationship or not, if it was a commitment of one of the parents, or simply, age was upon us….
1. Why did you decide to be a father?
There are so many reasons for bring a child into the world, which in any of them, can already determine if there will be an overprotected child or not. And here is the first test, if you think that your child may be protected, ask yourself what was the real reason for its pregnancy.
2. Does fear affect your life and that of your children?
And if fear dominates you, you will probably protect your child to prevent something from happening to him. And from that position, fear, dear father or mother, how can we act? Well, preventing them from doing things that we think they will not be able to do or that if they do, they may run some risk. So, here is the second test that you have to answer, don't you let him do certain things out of fear? In case something could happen to him? In case you are wrong?… Be [email protected] and answer the question.
With these two tests, we already have evidence of whether the overprotection is due to the child or because we are overprotecting ourselves from events or possible situations that are beyond our "control". But there remains a third question that may be key.
3. Are you a controlling mother or father?
And here comes our third test or question that you must answer to yourself: What happens when something gets out of your control? How do you act? How you feel? In what do you surround your thoughts? Likewise, these answers will tell a lot about you and the reality of the concept of overprotection.
With these three tests (questions to answer), you will begin to be more [email protected] about whether you overprotect your child or what you are doing in him is a projection of you.
For those of you who still do not know what projection is in our children, we can answer it in several directions: wanting to see in them what we were not capable of doing or being as a child or adolescent; but also, projection can be projecting our current emotional world onto our children.
So if I am in a time of insecurity in my work, I probably act from insecurity with my son and do not let him do certain things; or if I am angry with life, because I don't get what I want, my son will be the first to notice my anger ...
Deep down, we project our reality and our way of seeing the world onto our children, and our task as parents is to free ourselves from all those patterns, to let our children grow up in the freedom and permission to be whoever they want to be and not so much in let them be what we wish or wish we had been.
And to finish, just remember that we must do our best and also allow our children to do the same.
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