Fears

Child's fear of his mother's absence


Mom leaves ... but comes back. I wish we could spare our children all the hardships, the ailments, the pain, the wounds, the disappointments ..., but this is not possible. Nor do we want him to grow up in an imaginary world.

So why not teach them from an early age to accept the frustrations and fears that they encounter from birth? The presence of mom and dad is not continuous. They come and go, appear and disappear. What to do for babies to feel confident that mom and dad are leaving but will come back?

In the absence of mother, there is the teddy bear, a piece of music or the sucking finger or the little hand that caresses the ear: all that which is not mother but reminds me of her.

- If the absence lasts too long, the feeling of emptiness occurs, the memory of mom fades.

- If mother does not disappear for a little while, there is no space to learn to do something creative with her absence, invent games, sounds, gestures that represent my mother.

- I need to lose Mom for a while to know that I'll get her back later. Well, if I never lose her: how do I know that she comes back?

All of us who are in contact with children check over and over again how attractive it is for them (from 6 months) to play "Cucu-tras", that is, where is the baby? ", Hiding their faces, and hear his laugh when we find out.

At around 9 months his favorite game is to throw objects far away and ask for them to be brought back to him. Larger, they retain the pleasure of playing hide and seek, in all its versions.

These games amuse children so much, because they allow them to go through that dose of anguish caused by not seeing the face or the object or the one that is hidden, and enjoy the joy of recovering it. They are experiences that leave a lesson: things, people, health, crying, joy, sadness: they come and go, appear and disappear ... but there will always be 'a teddy bear' at hand.

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Video: Mom lives in fear with violent child (October 2021).