How many children do you want to have? We have all asked ourselves this question before or after. As an only child until I was almost 10 years old, it was always clear to me that when I was older I wanted to have two children. "So that my children have someone to play with," he constantly repeated. However, if I had known about this study, perhaps I would have reconsidered it. New research in Australia ensures that having a second child worsens the mental health of the parents,much more than after the first baby.
Those who are parents know it well: children are the best gift life can give you. They offer you great moments of laughter, they give you all their love, they make you a better person, they change your life ... However, they also bring sleepless nights, fight against tantrums, new priorities, etc. When taking stock, I always try to pull on the positive side. However, how do the most difficult moments of childhood affect parents? What if there are two children at home?
Many parents think that having a second child is easier than dealing with the first baby. It is true that you already have the clothes and other equipment, you already know how to remove gases from the child, you do not feel so new when it comes to breastfeeding your baby, you are already a master of diaper changing ... However, a study conducted in Australia has shown that having a second child affects parents very negatively, and more specifically to their mental health.
To reach these conclusions, the study relied on data from the past 16 years from the Australian Household, Income and Labor Dynamics in Australia Survey (HILDA). After comparing and analyzing, it is explained that the first and second births in the family similarly increase the pressure on the parents. However, while the negative effects of having the first baby wear off after a few months, parents' mental health does not seem to improve after having a second child.
Even when children start school, learn to sleep alone in their rooms, or start eating without having to sit next to them, that pressure doesn't go away. This, how could it be otherwise, affects the mental health of parents. The effects take many more years to wear off.
Another interesting conclusion that this study shows talks about the differences between fathers and mothers. According to the results of this research, mothers' mental health is more affected than that of the parents, especially before the arrival of the second child.
Are you pregnant again? Congratulations! As much as the studies say, we are very sure that this baby will bring a lot of joy to your home. However, it never hurts to consider some tips to take care of your mental health as a father or mother of two (or more) precious creatures.
- Organization, organization and more organization
Many times, having the feeling that there are many things to do and that everything is in the air produces great pressure. Therefore, we recommend that you organize yourself to have everything under control. Lists are often a very useful resource to stop having that horrible feeling that you are forgetting things.
- Find moments for you
Between diapers, meals and crying it is very difficult to find moments for yourself, but your mental health needs it. Look for little moments in which you can disconnect and practice an activity that you like: reading, taking a bath, listening to music ... It sounds impossible, but try it! By the way, your partner would certainly not hurt having a few moments of intimacy.
- Try Mindfulness
Surely you have heard of Mindfulness ... Have you tried it? It is a technique that will help you reduce tension and stress.
- Don't hesitate to ask for help
If you can't handle everything, ask for help. Surely someone from your environment can help you to take care of your children and feel more relieved.
Remember, If you don't take care of your mental health, you won't be able to take good care of your children.
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