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Parents competing with their children


There is a type of competition that it doesn't have to be detrimental to the parent-child relationship: the competition that makes the child feel motivated and the father or mother is pushing him towards a success that the child will achieve by himself. This type of competition is necessary for children to develop fully and to feel that their parents trust them and their possibilities, because they see their parents as allies.

Instead, when competitiveness is lived with rivalry, when parents stop being guides to become enemies, then it becomes toxic and very dangerous.

No matter the context in which it occurs, no matter whether the father or mother competes with the child, doing so means having a toxic behavior in the parent-child relationship, a behavior that, like everything toxic, will have negative consequences mutually.

It is easy to know whether or not you are competing with your children. Ask yourself a question: When you were a child, did you feel bad when others beat you? Were you envious of those who surpassed you?

A father who competes against his children (because it is never something healthy) will be that person that does not allow the child to be successful on his own, or that if the father or mother gets them, they will highlight how he / she had better results in his / her past and that he / she will not be the same as him / her in his / her glory days.

This behavior is sad, mean, immature and narcissistic on the part of parents who do not realize that what they must do is forget those glory days and fight so that their children are better than they are in all aspects to get what they want. set out in life.

There is nothing harder for a child than having to compete with others, but it still becomes harder and more insufferable to have to try to be better than their parents or to live in constant competition or daily demands.

Children don't need to compete they need to participate. Competition can seriously damage children's self-esteem, but not only to the loser, but also to the winner, it makes them see a distorted reality that in the long run can continue to be detrimental to their self-esteem.

But a child who has parents who constantly remind him of his mediocrity will eventually believe it. Wouldn't it be the same for you if someone were reminding you every day of how little you are worth? But the reality is that this type of parent lives drowned in a world of fear and insecurity that unfortunately, the children pay.

Making fun of other children can be negative, but at the end of the day they are on the same level and true unconditional support must be found from the parents. Children defend each other, but parents who try to be better than their children, it is an unfair fight that should never take place since the scale is unbalanced, in addition to being a behavior that borders on the unhealthy.

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